So I reflected on the circumstances of my life and saw that I was caught in a tangle of worldly attachments. The most important of these was my teaching and in this I was dealing with branches of knowledge that contributed nothing towards the attainment of eternal life – and so are utterly unimportant.
Then I examined my motive for teaching; and I realized that it was not pure desire to serve God, but was mixed with the desire for social status and public influence. I saw myself as standing on the edge of a sandy cliff, that was crumbling beneath me; I was in imminent danger of plunging into the fires of hell, unless I started to mend my ways.
I was faced with a choice, and day after day I grappled with it. One day I would decide to abandon my career, and the circumstances surrounding it; and the next day I would reverse my decision. I put one foot forward, and drew the other foot back. If in the morning I had a genuine yearning for eternal life, by the evening a great mass of worldly desires had reduced me to impotence. Worldly desires were like chains holding me in my present position.
(Imam Al-Ghazali)