Nizam
Source:366 Readings From Islam

Eventually the choice between following the mystical path and retaining my career was taken away from me. God caused my voice to become silent, so that I could no longer teach. One day, as I stood before my students with the intention of satisfying their hunger for knowledge, I found myself unable to utter a single word.

I was deeply upset. Moreover the same illness that silenced my voice, also made it difficult for me to eat and digest food; I could barely even swallow soup. Gradually my body weakened until the physicians gave up all hope of treating me successfully. Recognizing my condition, and having lost the power of choice, I sought refuge with the most high God; I was driven into his arms, because I was no longer able to care for myself. In this way he made it easy for me to turn away from position and wealth. I made arrangements to leave my house, and to withdraw from the world. The religious leaders were very sceptical of my motives, doubting whether I was prompted by spiritual desires; in their minds a career as a theological teacher was the highest calling. And others were also confused at my conduct. In particular, government officials, who had often keenly sought my advice, were now offended that I showed no interest in their affairs. I gave away my wealth, retaining only enough to sustain myself and my relatives; then I left the city.

(Imam al-Ghazali)

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